the Art Enduro

Part of the reason I called my art business Paper Moon is because alot of times I get inspired in the middle of the night. And sometimes I'm just awake in the middle of the night, with NO inspiration, which is what happened last night...But that's not what I want to talk about. It's just worth mentioning, in case none of what follows makes any sense!

I read alot of Luann Udell's blog, and she has a fantastic way of deriving insights into her creative process through other parts of her life, particularly sports. At our Underground Artists meeeting this week, we were joking about art as an edurance sport. And I'm starting to see, through my efforts at working out, how this is true. I'm taking beginning mountain biking at the local community college. In part, I'm taking this for my kids' sake...but it's going to take more than that to keep me in it. Last week I was at the back of the pack for most of the ride... and I'm kind of anxious about today's class. But I'm also kind of curious to see if I can make it through the whole class... even if I am pushing my bike up every hill. It's about seeing something all the way through, even if I'm not keeping up with the maniacal woman on the cruiser (with NO gears) who was so far out in front of the instructor that she kept going the wrong way...which might be another whole analogy.

But! to bring this back around to art... the last weeks were spent in a familiar psychic cycle of "what am I doing?" when it comes to my artwork. Early this year, I had told myself that, even though I've been at this awhile, this is the first time that I have fully committed to giving it my best shot; to working steadily and getting it out there consistantly. And here I was, questioning everything. Just like I'm questioning whether or not I can do this class...

Well, I'm committed to this class. It's going to test me, and I may not do that well with it. But if I finish it, that will be something. And I'm going to keep making art, because this really is the first time that I've come up against myself without having some outside excuse (like having a baby, or getting horrendously sick...). I'm coming up against all my fears and I'm going to keep going.